#27-C: STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983) - GUEST REVIEW BY JOHN

Hi everyone, please enjoy this guest review by John! - Mark

THRILL SCALE 1-10

9

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Probably 25 times 

BEST SEQUENCE(S)

Top 3 sequences include the escape from Jabba's floating yacht-thing, the forest moon speeder bike chase, and of course the battle of Endor

BEST LINE

“Now, Luke Skywalker…you will die.”

WORST LINE

“She's my sister”

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

83%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Though failing to reach the cinematic heights of its predecessors, Return of the Jedi remains an entertaining sci-fi adventure and a fitting end to the classic trilogy."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

“After rescuing Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt, the Rebel Alliance attempts to destroy the second Death Star while Luke struggles to help Darth Vader back from the dark side.”

DIRECTOR

Richard Marquand…a Welsh director who was best known at the time for having directed a Nazi WWII spy movie, a Beatles documentary, and a failed horror flick

MAIN CAST

The usual suspects. Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Billy Dee Williams, the talents of James Earl Jones and Frank Oz. Ian McDiarmid's performance as Emperor Palpatine is chilling

THOUGHTS

I feel compelled to offer a few disclaimers in the name of transparency - the first being that this movie was my introduction to the Star Wars franchise. 

I was a little kid in the late eighties, and Jedi came on TV one night. Back then, when something cool came on our TV, my older brother and I would rush/panic to find a blank tape (or one deemed suitable for taping over), and we'd quickly fire up the VCR to record whatever cool thing was on the TV. We were pop-culture obsessed kids living in the sticks. We never knew how long it would be before something good would be on that TV again, so we made sure to try and capture what we could for re-watching in the interim.

So, that original copy of Jedi that we taped was almost certainly edited for TV, and didn't really pick up until Luke was a hologram in Jabba's palace. But I loved it. I watched the hell out of it. It inspired and influenced me in untold ways. 

I mention this mainly because for me, this movie is soaked with nostalgia, and nostalgia is a powerful Force (pun intended). It can suspend logic, cloud our judgement, and warp our memories...a Jedi mind trick, if you will. I am surely not impervious to its charms.

The 2nd disclaimer is that this movie came out in 1983. We have since gotten 2 other full trilogies in this franchise, not to mention countless spin offs in the form of stand alone films, prequels, series, both animated and live action. There have been over 40 years of context and perspective since Jedi was released, and it's important to note that a review done in 2026 undoubtedly benefits from that context, and therefore will not be written or received the way a review from the early 80's would be. Obviously. 

Ok, disclaimers are done. 

Return of the Jedi is my favorite Star Wars movie, hands down. I think it's the best film in the franchise.

Why? Simply, it's the most fun. 

If this review reads like I'm defending more than actually reviewing, well, yes that's fair. This has been my relationship with ROTJ. I defend it, because it's great. Here's why.

To start, it's considerably less depressing than its predecessor. Let's remember that the previous movie in the franchise, The Empire Strikes Back, is tonally very dark, and it goes very badly for the Rebels (good guys). Their base on Hoth gets destroyed. Luke nearly gets eaten by a Wampa. Lando betrays his old friend Han Solo, who then gets tortured, frozen in carbonite, and sold by a bounty hunter. Vader strangles like, everyone. Luke gets his hand lopped off by his Dad (there is a weird theme of arms being cut off in this franchise, there are 2 dismembered hands in Empire alone). 

In contrast? ROTJ has big wins for the Rebel Alliance, right out the gate. Lots to cheer for. It has new, cool aliens and species. Rancor fights? Sarlacc Pits? Hell yes. We get to meet Jabba The Hutt, and peek into the seedy happenings of his interstellar gangster underworld. We get visits from old friends, and amazing clashes in outer space between the Rebel and Empire star fleets. Not to mention…speeder bikes! Forest moon tree villages! Also, Luke Skywalker finally becomes a badass and with his now well-honed Jedi skills. Massive showdowns between good and evil. FUN. 

Furthermore, it just looks great. Excellent special effects, set design, costumes and puppetry make ROTJ the most visually impressive film in the first trilogy, hands down. 

 And now, a word on Ewoks. 

Star Wars fans of this era love to hate on the Ewoks, the cuddly yet dangerous inhabitants of the forest moon of Endor. It's not entirely unwarranted - Ewoks were at least partially created with heavy merchandising in mind, making them an easy target for angry franchise fans to point at and say “see they only did it for the money!”

To this, I have one rebuttal - this is a STAR WARS movie we're talking about here. Of course there was merchandising in mind. George Lucas and his two movies preceding this were probably responsible for more garbage merchandising than Disney and Snoopy combined. They sold Star Wars lunchboxes, toys and bed sheets, yes. But they also licensed Star Wars Shampoo, Funk albums, tape dispensers, BBQ's, toilet seats and plungers (all real things). These guys, for lack of a better word, were merchandise WHORES. So I don't think it's fair for these fans to go clutching their pearls over management's intent to exploit some of the new characters for merchandising. 

Others like to scoff at the suggestion that the Ewoks would be able to take out the rebel forces on Endor, armed with only their sticks and stones against lasers and heavy war machinery.

Right, because we've seen so many great feats of battlefield excellence from the Imperial STORM TROOPERS. They are famous for being able to shoot things and capture people (sarcasm heavily implied).The storm troopers, or in this case, Scout Troopers (cooler helmets), are comically bad at their jobs in every SW movie. Ewoks could, and did, wallop them. The Ewoks also successfully kidnapped a space pirate, Wookiee, Jedi knight, two droids and a rebel commander/Princess. They're very capable. They're on home turf, everyone else is an interloper. The whole “their ancient technology could never” argument....what in the Colonialist bullshit even is that? GTFO. Ewoks are rad and I'm tired of people acting like they're not.

I also like to point out that unserious, mildly goofy characters have been prevalent in this franchise from the jump (R2D2 and C-3P0, anybody? Jawas?)

I have seen other reviews before where people complain about character development. I don't agree with this either. 

Luke Skywalker, for one, finally BECOMES COOL. He starts dressing in black and Jedi mind tricking people. He has an android hand. He isn't a whiny little farmer anymore. Truly, Luke peaks in this film.

Han Solo actually has a mature moment, does the adult thing and tells Leia he will not interfere in her relationship with Luke Skywalker (he then finds out they're siblings, ugh). This is pretty emotionally intelligent for a smuggler whose hetero life partner is a 10 foot Wookiee.

Vader finally sees the error of his ways, after losing (you guessed it) a hand. Maybe the Dark Side isn't so great after all.

And Lando Calrissian has gone from a greasy political figure in an uppity cloud city to a selfless ace pilot rebel leader. Not unlike his old pal Solo, he finally shucks off the stink of interstellar smuggler and embraces his true calling as a resistance hero. 

No character development? Hardly.

It's not a total departure from the tone of the previous entry in the franchise. There is some real darkness in ROTJ as well, and it shoots lightning from its hands whilst wrapped in a black, hooded cloak. Emperor Palpatine is downright scary. And evil. And clearly enjoys the evil. The scene near the end where he tortures/nearly kills a basically unarmed Luke Skywalker is genuinely chilling, and the malicious smile Palpatine wears while committing this act is forever burned into my memory. Old people are not to be trusted.

This is long in the tooth, I know. So I'll wrap it up. Is ROTJ the best Star Wars movie? Yes. Thank you.

Up Next: Hey gang, it's Mark again! Thanks for the review, John! Coming up next, I'll be jumping back into the action, because I decided that I will personally review the first movie of every trilogy (and also I'm going to do Solo, because I actually kind of forgot that I haven't seen it yet). So with that said, we'll be talking about the first Star Wars movie that I ever saw in the theatre, The Phantom Menace. Meesa excited!

#27-B: STAR WARS: EPISODE V - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980) - GUEST REVIEW BY HANK

    

Hi everyone, please enjoy this guest review by Hank! - Mark

THRILL SCALE 1-10

9

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yessiree, many times dating back to ye olde VHS days in the 90’s.

BEST SEQUENCE

Luke and Vader duel. Honestly the whole battle for Hoth is also such an amazing opening to a film, but the Luke Vader duel edges it out. While it's pretty tame choreo compared to modern films, it was a massive jump from the first film's weenie lightsaber battles. Vader's commentary throughout the fight is excellent. "Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Release your anger... Only your hatred can destroy me." "The Force is with you, young Skywalker. But you are not a Jedi yet." I suppose those are honourable mentions for the next category.

BEST LINE(S)

5. “This deal's getting worse all the time.” - Lando Calrissian
I quote this all the time.

4. (see best sequence above) “Impressive… Jedi yet.” - Darth Vader

3. “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” - Yoda 
Inspirational. Better than Nike.

2. “I am your father.” - Darth Vader
Iconic. The lead up to it, the aftermath of it. All of it. If you lived under a rock and didn’t know this was coming it is such a fantastic reveal and makes the entire trilogy better for it.

“Your Tauntaun'll freeze before you reach the first marker.” - Deck Officer
1. “Then I'll see you in hell!” - Han Solo
I just laugh every time I hear it as It always catches me off guard. The delivery is *chefs kiss*. It might not be your favourite… But It’s my favourite, and If you’ve got a problem with that, then I guess I’ll…. SEE YOU IN HELL! MUAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH!

Side note: Mark claimed "But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!" was his least favourite line in A New Hope and I comically think it is one of my favourites. It really helps cement the growth of Luke from being a whiny little brat to being the warrior that saves the Galaxy by the end of the trilogy. The whiny delivery cracks me up. LUL.

WORST LINE

Hard to pin one down. There are some cheesily acted extras lines here and there, but I never really mind those. Probably a line by See-Threepio… He is very whiny and complains a lot. Let's use this one:

“I really don't see how that is going to help. Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances. The Empire may be gracious enough…” *Leia reaches over and shuts off Threepio, mid-sentence.

Which is actually great 'cause it ends with exactly what we all wanted.

Though in truth the worst line in the movie isn’t a line. It’s just a weird scene that really stops the momentum and doesn’t add anything.

INT. DAGOBAH - TREE CAVE 166

Luke moves into the almost total darkness of the wet and slimy cave. The youth can barely make out the edge of the passage. Holding his lit saber before him, he sees a lizard crawling up the side of the cave and a snake wrapped around the branches of a tree. Luke draws a deep breath, then pushes deeper into the cave. The space widens around him, but he feels that rather than sees it. His sword casts the only light as he peers into the darkness. It is very quiet here.

Then, a loud HISS! Darth Vader appears across the blackness, illuminated by his own just-ignited laser sword. Immediately, he charges Luke, saber held high. He is upon the youth in seconds, but Luke sidesteps perfectly and slashes at Vader with his sword. Vader is decapitated. His helmet-encased head flies from his shoulders as his body disappears into the darkness. The metallic banging of the helmet fills the cave as Vader's head spins and bounces, smashes on the floor, and finally stops. For an instant it rests on the floor, then it cracks vertically. The black helmet and breath mask fall away to reveal... Luke's head.

Across the space, the standing Luke gasps at the sight, wide-eyed in terror. The decapitated head fades away, as in a vision.

What does this add? Nothing. It is the sole reason this movie got a 9/10 instead of a 10/10 on the Thrill Scale.

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

93%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Dark, sinister, but ultimately even more involving than A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back defies viewer expectations and takes the series to heightened emotional levels."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"After the Empire overpowers the Rebel Alliance, Luke Skywalker begins training with Jedi Master Yoda, while Darth Vader and bounty hunter Boba Fett pursue his friends across the galaxy."

DIRECTOR

Irvin Kershner

MAIN CAST

Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Peter Mayhew, Anthony Daniels, David Prowse, Frank Oz, Kenny Baker

Today I learned: James Earl Jones declined to have his name appear on the credits of both Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) and Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980), claiming that he felt his contribution wasn't significant enough to warrant a credit and didn’t want to take away from Prowse’s work as a physical actor in the role.

THOUGHTS

• Star Wars. Yeh! Rock on! Like Mark, I’ve seen all but the most recent. I think the IP is fantastic, I love the world, I love the lore, and I think it is a wonderful blend of Space Opera, Spaghetti Western and Samurai films. However, I also think there are only 3 truly great Star Wars films. Many of them are good, most of them are fine, and a few of them are bad. This film is the cream of the crop. The big dawg. Top of the list bangarang film. The number one Star Wars movie ever made, and I’d think you were a liar and a fool if you disagreed with me. If you think Rogue One or Episode IV are better… I’ll allow it… You’re wrong… But I’ll allow it. They are the other two great among greats. The rest is fine. It’s good, it’s fun. And yes I think Episode VI is in the lesser category of good but not great. I’m on a ramble so let's move on.
• What a fantastic iconic score this movie has. I know a lot of it is building off Episode IV but I think they really use it well in this with little themes and bits all throughout and really build from what they had to make an epic feast for the ears.
• The cast is great, Hamill, Fisher and Ford are really starting to come into their own in this one. We’re seeing more rebel soldiers and not just kids. With more nuance and emotion (and better direction, sorry Lucas), the whole cast comes together, not to mention the bonus treat of Billy Dee Wiliams at the end.
• The pacing of this film is outstanding, as with most second films in trilogies it has the benefit of just being able to jump into the action, everyone knows everyone and we are here to rock and/or roll right out the gate. From Hoth to Dagobah to Space Asteroid to Cloud City it just moves, and it moves well. Barring that one scene listed above (Luke face in Vader helmet).
• Hoth is such a perfect opening. Just a fantastic way to open a movie. It has everything: espionage drone, a smooch, a lovers spat, a giant monster getting its arm bloodily removed, a daring rescue, giant robot camels, a full on war, a crazy and creative way to kill the giant robot camels that oft goes wrong, things oft going wrong, space ships blasting off to space, giant boob nipple cannons shooting into space. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?
• Yoda is such a great little weird guy. Love him giving Luke the business for being a whiny boy, but he teaches Luke a lot, and Luke's arms on Dagobah, hot damn, i do believe I have the vapours.
• Cloud City. Poor Lando, he just wanted a deal and he prayed it wouldn’t be altered further, but gosh darn it, they altered it further. Reminiscent of the Death Star escape from the first movie, we’ve got badass Leia getting the heck outta dodge again. This time Luke is the Jedi meeting with Vader and gives a much better showing than old Ben. Just a great finale that keeps the action up to the very end, and tantalizing some juicy storylines to be finished in Episode VI.
• It’s fun to note, when this movie released in theatres May 6, 1980, due to the movie's darker tone and wild finale plot twist it was met with mixed reviews and reception. Star Wars fans have always hated the newest Star War. Just as I hated the prequels so did the next gen hate the threequels, which I’m sure will one day be beloved when the next worst trilogy releases.
• That’s it. I could probably ramble on for much longer, but I shan’t. Instead I will leave you with my definitive ranking of the franchise. I’d be interested if all of Mark’s guest writers plop this into their reviews at the end… But they don’t have to… I guess…

HANK'S STAR WARS MOVIE RANKINGS

• N/A
• The Mandalorian and Grogu
• Not Great Star Wars
  
• 11 Attack of the Clones
• 10 Revenge of the Sith
  
• It’s fun Star Wars
  
• 9 The Phantom Menace
• 8 Solo
• 7 The Rise of Skywalker
• 6 The Last Jedi
  
• Pretty good Star Wars
  
• 5 The Force Awakens
• 4 Return of the Jedi
  
• Amazing Star Wars
  
• 3 Rogue One
• 2 A New Hope
• 1 Empire Strikes Back
  

Thanks for having me Mark! What an honour. I look forward to the rest of the reviews.

Up Next: Well hey there, it's me, Mark, again! Thanks for the review, Hank! Coming up next we'll have another guest reviewer, John, talking about Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

#27: STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE (1977)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

9

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yes, several times. The first time I was probably age 10 or so. I'm not entirely sure when the last time was, though. It might have been about 20 years ago

BEST SEQUENCE

I'll go with the trench run and the climactic attack on the Death Star, but there are a lot of good options. Runner-up is probably the Mos Eisley cantina and the introduction of Han Solo (and yes, I choose to believe that Han shot first)

BEST LINE

"Use the Force, Luke"

Close second: "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

WORST LINE

"But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!"

- It's not the line that's bad, it's the delivery. I love you, Mark Hamill, but GOD you sound whiny here

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

93%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"A legendarily expansive and ambitious start to the sci-fi saga, George Lucas opened our eyes to the possibilities of blockbuster filmmaking and things have never been the same."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"A farmboy joins forces with various allies to save their galaxy from the evil Empire's planet-destroying battle station, while also rescuing the princess leading the rebellion against them."

DIRECTOR

George Lucas

MAIN CAST

Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness, James Earl Jones, David Prowse, Peter Cushing, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew

THOUGHTS

• Welcome to Star Wars, everybody! Before we get into the review, I have an announcement. The AFI decided to place only the first Star Wars on the list, which I think is a very sensible choice. However, as we all know, this was just the beginning (despite the first movie eventually becoming Episode IV). The Star Wars franchise has now spanned very close to 50 years, including books, video games, TV shows, comics, and yes, movies. 12 official movies, to be precise, including spin-offs. So what the hell, let's watch them all! We shall now embark on my longest side quest so far, reviewing every live-action theatrical Star Wars release
• I've seen every Star Wars movie except for The Mandalorian and Grogu, and I think they're fun, and fine, but I wouldn't really consider myself a Star Wars fan. If anything, during the rest of my reviews I've kind of come to realize that sci-fi just doesn't always do it for me. With that said, before going into this rewatch, I wasn't really expecting to rate it as highly as I did. But then the movie started, and John Williams' incredible music kicked in, and I have to admit it totally got me! I sat back and just enjoyed the ride
• I love the cast, and they're all completely selling this cheesy, fantastical space opera. The main trio is wonderful, give or take a whiny Luke line delivery (but whatever, it's part of the character). Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia is a total badass, and I absolutely love that she's not just a damsel in distress, she can grab a blaster and kick up some shit with the best of them. And Harrison Ford as Han Solo is unforgettable, an instant star-making performance
• Alec Guinness didn't have a whole lot of respect for Star Wars, calling it "fairy tale rubbish" at times, but I still think he's really quite good as Obi-Wan, and I even think it seemed like he had some fun in the role. We talked about Guinness a long time ago, when I thought he was incredible in The Bridge on the River Kwai, and I really think it's quite impressive that he can put in such good performances in such different movies. I also think it's kind of hilarious that when Obi-Wan went into hiding, he did so by slightly changing his first name to Old Ben, and not even changing his last name (but hey, it's a big galaxy)
• I have to admit, the only character that I actively disliked on this viewing was C-3PO. What an irritating prig. I don't remember having such strongly negative feelings about him before, so maybe he'll grow on me
• Considering where the Star Wars saga goes, I was kind of surprised that Darth Vader didn't make a bigger impression in this movie. He's certainly visually distinctive and stands out in a crowd, and the force choke is an extremely cool early demonstration of the Force, but he's actually a bit of a secondary antagonist in this movie. Remember, it's Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing) who obliterates Alderaan, not Vader, and I would say that this certainly qualifies as the most evil, villainous, destructive act in the whole movie
• I do love the way this movie sets us up for a big plot twist in the next one, however, including all of Obi-Wan's talk about Darth Vader's past (even if he's using some creative license with the actual events)
• At this stage, it will be pretty impossible to talk about each movie in a vacuum as if the rest of the franchise doesn't exist, so I'm not really going to try. I'm pretty sure that by the time I watched The Empire Strikes Back I knew about the famous plot twist, and the famous line, so I was ready for it. But I can only imagine how hard the Vader reveal would hit if you had no idea about it, especially after all the setup in A New Hope
• George Lucas was a visionary director, one of the most influential of all time. And yet, as we all know, he went a little CGI crazy and decided to touch up his original trilogy, releasing the Special Editions in 1997. Given the nature of streaming these days, the Special Edition was all I had the option of watching. The added CGI is completely unnecessary, and distracting, and I wish it wasn't there. The nice thing is that the later parts of the movie weren't really impacted as far as I could tell, at least not in an obvious way, and there are still a lot of charming, convincing practical effects, but that just makes the silly digital effects stand out all the more. The scene between Han and a CGI Jabba the Hutt is a travesty, though
• Something Han Solo-related that isn't a travesty: when he's on the communicator, trying to convince the Stormtroopers that they don't need to investigate. "Boring conversation, anyway". HILARIOUS
• Star Wars was a box office smash, megahit, genre-defining, era-defining cultural phenomenon. It set the record for the highest-grossing movie of all time, taking the spot from a movie we'll talk about eventually (Jaws), and keeping the title for 5 years until it was beaten by a movie we've talked about before (E.T.). It also won a ton of Oscars, and it was nominated for some big ones as well, including nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, and Alec Guinness for Best Supporting Actor. With all that said it's crazy to think that at one time it was not a sure thing, and in an alternate reality the first Star Wars movie might have been all we got. It even could have worked pretty well as a one-off. Obviously there was a lot of set up about Darth Vader, and the biggest hanging plot thread is the fact that Vader survives the Death Star attack, but aside from that it was fairly self-contained without too much need for a sequel
• Finally, a couple of points of order. You may have noticed that I added a new category above. George Lucas may have been a visionary director, but his screenwriting has been pretty laughable on occasion. So, with each movie, we'll have not just a best line, but also a worst line. And lastly, this is a big undertaking. And like I mentioned, I'm not even the world's biggest Star Wars fan. So I'm putting out a call. If you've ever wanted to write a guest review, send me a message! I'd love to have you. And speaking of which...

Up next: Our first guest reviewer gets the distinct honour and privilege of reviewing what many consider to be the best Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back. Please look forward to Hank giving us his thoughts next time! And don't worry, he's a much bigger Star Wars fan than I am, so I have no doubt that he'll do it justice

#28: FATAL ATTRACTION (1987)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

9

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yes, once, I can't remember when

BEST SEQUENCE

The ending is somewhat controversial for reasons I'll explain later, but I have to say, it really worked on me, especially when Alex (Glenn Close) appears behind Beth (Anne Archer). "What are you doing here? Why are you here?" gave me chills

BEST LINE

"I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan!"

- It's a simple line, but Glenn Close's delivery is absolutely perfect

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

74%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"A potboiler in the finest sense, Fatal Attraction is a sultry, juicy thriller that's hard to look away from once it gets going."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"A married man's one-night stand comes back to haunt him when that lover begins to stalk him and his family."

DIRECTOR

Adrian Lyne

MAIN CAST

Michael Douglas, Glenn Close, Anne Archer, Ellen Hamilton, Stuart Pankin

THOUGHTS

• Considered one of the quintessential erotic thrillers, I was struck by how early and how drastically the movie becomes distinctly unerotic. The sexy part of Dan (Michael Douglas) and Alex's (Glenn Close) affair only lasts for the first 30 minutes or so, before things take a very dramatic turn and the drama and tension only escalate for the rest of the movie. Given the circumstances and the moral transgressions at the heart of the movie, some viewers might not find any parts of the film to be erotic at all
• Similarly, a huge part of the intrigue here is the fact that Dan is entirely complicit and not at all innocent in this situation, so opinions may vary on how much of a victim he was vs. how much of this was justified (although once Alex got to the point of kidnapping Dan's daughter, yeah, that's pretty unjustifiable)
• I was strongly reminded of Cape Fear in the sense that Dan knows Alex is dangerous, he knows his family is at risk, but he can't actually do anything about it legally until Alex commits any sort of crime (at which point it's almost too late)
• I must admit, throughout the whole movie I kept assuming that Alex was lying about being pregnant, mostly just based on preconceived notions and how other, similar movies and stories would have played out. But after reading about the movie after the fact, I think it's safe to say that it's official, she really was pregnant. And honestly, even more so than if she was lying, I think that this does add even more complexity to the story
• I mentioned that the ending was controversial. It was a reshoot after test audiences reacted negatively to the original ending, and several people disagreed with the change, including Glenn Close. Like I said, I did find the new ending to be effective, but I can also acknowledge that it's a little hackneyed in a "standard thriller movie climax" way. I mostly just like it for the performances. The original ending is available on Youtube, however, and you can watch it here (although it won't really mean much to you if you haven't seen the movie)
• Finally, you may be surprised (and I'm a little surprised myself) that I've gone through this whole review without mentioning perhaps its most famous scene, the one involving a pet bunny rabbit. It is a really good scene, and the tension is palpable while Beth approaches what she's about to discover, but for me it's ultimately just one more tense moment in a movie that's full of them

Up next: Well gang, it's a big one, and a movie I've been looking forward to reviewing for a very long time. In the words of Lucille Bluth, "Here's some money, go see a Star War". That's right, from 1977, it's Star Wars, the movie that started it all. Plus, stay tuned for a big announcement next time

#29-B: MISERY (1990)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

10

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Many times

BEST SEQUENCE

It has to be the hobbling scene

BEST LINE

Annie: "When I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favourite thing in all the world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays."

Paul: "Cliffhangers."

Annie: "I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid, ya know... Anyway, my favourite was Rocketman, and once it was a no-brakes chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting, 'This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair! HE DIDN'T GET OUT OF THE COCK-A-DOODIE CAR!'"

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

86%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Elevated by standout performances from James Caan and Kathy Bates, this taut and frightening film is one of the best Stephen King adaptations to date."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"After a famous author is rescued from a car crash by a fan of his novels, he comes to realize that the care he is receiving is only the beginning of a nightmare of captivity and abuse."

DIRECTOR

Rob Reiner

MAIN CAST

James Caan, Kathy Bates, Richard Farnsworth, Frances Sternhagen, Lauren Bacall

THOUGHTS

• I may be inflating the Thrill Score a little bit, but this really is one of my favourite thrillers and it might be my favourite Stephen King adaptation. A tight, tense thriller with iconic moments and incredible performances, plus some pitch-black comedy. Noteworthy also as one of King's few stories with no supernatural elements whatsoever. Just two people in close quarters, engaged in a battle of wits and wills
• The performances are really what make this movie for me, especially since it's basically a two-hander (but Richard Farnsworth and Frances Sternhagen have some fun moments). James Caan conveys a lot with a relatively subtle performance, and his physical acting is superb. Anytime he takes a hit to the legs, you can practically feel his pain. And speaking of his legs, a lot of credit goes to the makeup and special effects that made his injuries look so terribly believable
• Kathy Bates, however, she's the real star of the show, and it's one of my favourite performances ever. The subtle ways she creeps under your skin, making you come to understand that she is not a stable person. Her sudden outbursts, which can be downright hilarious. At times I wonder, is Bates hamming it up a little much? But on this last watch, it occurred to me, that's basically who Annie Wilkes is. Putting up a normal facade, hiding the sociopath within, sometimes going a little over-the-top with it and not being able to modulate properly. I honestly think it's a fun added layer to Bates' performance to look at it this way
• There's also something pitiable about Annie Wilkes. She's a lonely woman, who doesn't have much joy in her life; the Misery books are pretty much all she has. She takes it to the extreme, of course, but it's possible to find some sympathy for her
• The script was written by William Goldman, whose work we've talked about several times already (All the President's Men, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and Marathon Man). I do believe this will be the last of his movies we'll talk about (although shout out, as well, to Goldman and Rob Reiner's previous collaboration, one of my favourite movies, The Princess Bride). Also, the direct opposite of Stephen King's reaction to The Shining, King loved Misery and called it one of the best adaptations of his work. This is noteworthy also because of a huge change between movie and book, in a pivotal scene. Spoilers follow (and also TW for a description of violence)
• My pick for the best sequence, the hobbling scene, is absolutely excruciating to watch. Annie discovers that Paul has been exploring the house and getting out of his (locked) room, so she breaks both of his ankles with a sledgehammer. It's perfectly acted, and the special effects are extremely convincing. And yet, it's interesting that they went this route, because in the book Annie chops Paul's foot off with an axe. Goldman and Reiner disagreed on this, with Reiner wanting the sledgehammer and Goldman the axe. Ultimately, Goldman agreed that the sledgehammer was the right choice
• Side note, runner-up favourite line is Annie's rant about the vulgarity in Paul's new novel: "What do you think I say when I go to the feedstore in town, 'Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-ing pig feed, and ten pounds of that bitchly cow corn'? And at the bank do I tell Mrs. Bollinger, 'Oh, here's one big bastard of a check, give me some of your Christ-ing money'?"
• Bates won the Oscar for Best Actress that year, deservedly so, and also a rare Oscar win for a horror/thriller film
• Lastly, reviewing Misery gives me the chance to pay tribute to Mr. Rob Reiner, tragically taken from us last year. I haven't seen all of Reiner's movies, but I understand Misery to be the only one that would have a place on a list of thrilling movies. It's amazing how many different genres Reiner worked in, though, and with such incredible success. The first decade of his directorial career, especially, gave us one classic movie after the next. This Is Spinal Tap, Stand By Me (also considered one of the best King adaptations of all time, despite not being a horror), the aforementioned The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, Misery, these are some of my favourite movies of all time, all directed by the same guy, within a 6-year span (The Sure Thing and A Few Good Men are also in there, and they're also very good movies!). Thank you for all the joy and entertainment you brought us, Mr. Reiner, and thank you for the changes for good you made in this world

Up next: I saw it once, a long time ago, but I don't remember much about it. From 1987, Fatal Attraction

#29: THE SHINING (1980)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

10

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yes, several times, although I don't think I've rewatched it recently. Probably not within the last ten years

BEST SEQUENCE

There are so many good options to choose from, especially the scenes that introduced unforgettable images, like Danny and the Grady sisters in the hallway or the blood pouring out of the elevator. I'm going to go with Jack's investigation of Room 237 after Danny is attacked, though. It's maybe the scariest part of the movie for me, and I like the juxtaposition of titillation and horror. The shot of Shelley Duvall screaming as Jack hacks through the bathroom door is also incredibly effective

BEST LINE

Again, lots of good options, but I can't deny "Heeere's Johnny!" Honourable mentions to "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" and the way Jack says "Wendy, darling, light of my life"

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

84%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Though it deviates from Stephen King's novel, Stanley Kubrick's The Shining is a chilling, often baroque journey into madness -- exemplified by an unforgettable turn from Jack Nicholson."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter, where a sinister presence influences the father into violence. At the same time, his psychic son sees horrifying forebodings from both the past and the future."

DIRECTOR

Stanley Kubrick

MAIN CAST

Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers

THOUGHTS

• I've mentioned before that Stephen King is my favourite author, and The Shining is one of his best books, so let's discuss this right off the bat: King doesn't like this movie, or, at least, he doesn't think it's a good adaptation of his novel. And honestly, I completely understand his point of view. The book is about a decent man, a loving father and husband, who is fighting his own alcoholism and violent impulses and who is basically possessed by the hotel and made to lose that battle. This is perhaps also due to the length of the book compared to the length of a movie, but Jack's descent into madness is much more gradual in the book, and the movie loses some of that suspense and nuance. Crucially, in the book we also get several early scenes of Jack enjoying his time at the Overlook, and the quality time he spends with Danny and Wendy
• That last point, in particular, we really don't get in the movie. Jack Nicholson's movie Jack is a pretty unstable asshole right from the beginning, and there aren't any scenes that I can think of of him being a loving father and husband. Despite all the supernatural happenings in the movie, it comes across less as a story of a man being possessed by a haunted hotel, and more a tale of an already dangerous man hitting his breaking point thanks to cabin fever
• That's enough comparing between book and movie, though, because even though I think the book is excellent and terrifying, the movie is too, in slightly different ways, and it contains scenes and moments and images that I will simply never forget
• It's a total cliche to say that a movie's setting is its own character, but I think this is the best example of that. This movie simply wouldn't be this movie if the Overlook Hotel wasn't so singularly memorable, and crucial to the movie's effectiveness. The massive, imposing exterior, the long, slightly cramped hallways that Danny trikes through, the huge, empty lounge where Jack writes, they're all integral to the movie's impact
• Nicholson doesn't hold back, he chews up the scenery with gusto, but he's pretty convincing and terrifying. Danny Lloyd, as Danny, is also quite good for a child actor. Supposedly Kubrick managed to hide the really scary stuff from Lloyd, who didn't even know he was in a horror movie
• Now, I had always heard that Kubrick was awful to Shelley Duvall while making The Shining. And this is not meant to question anyone's personal experiences, but this may have been less verifiably true than I thought, with even Duvall having varying emotions about her time working with Kubrick. It does seem like it was an exhausting, emotionally draining experience, though, and that definitely comes across in multiple scenes, including the aforementioned sequence of Jack chopping through the bathroom door, or of him pursuing her up the flight of stairs
• Finally, I said something similar five summers ago when I reviewed The Thing (and holy shit, that was five summers ago?!): if you, like me, are experiencing a heatwave currently, The Shining is a pretty damn cold movie. Just imagine that you're Jack, limping through the snowy hedge maze, eventually freezing to death, as a surefire way to beat those summertime blues

Up next: Stephen King adaptations have appeared multiple times on both the official AFI list and the Readers' Choice list, but The Shining is his last appearance. I'm not quite ready to say goodbye yet, though, so we'll have one last Stephen King movie, and it's one of my favourites. From 1990, it's Misery (and it's also a pretty cold movie, come to think of it)