#71: GOLDFINGER (1964)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

7.5

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yes, but only once and it's been a while

BEST SEQUENCE

The assault on Fort Knox

BEST LINE

Bond (strapped to a table, an industrial-strength laser inching towards his genitals): "Do you expect me to talk?"

Goldfinger: "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!"

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

99%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Goldfinger is where James Bond as we know him comes into focus - it features one of 007's most famous lines ("A martini. Shaken, not stirred.") and a wide range of gadgets that would become the series' trademark."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"While investigating a gold magnate's smuggling, James Bond uncovers a plot to contaminate the Fort Knox gold reserve."

THOUGHTS

• There have been 27 movies made about James Bond. Seven actors have played him, in seven different decades. While it was only the third film in the series, Goldfinger is seen by many to be the quintessential Bond movie (and similarly, Sean Connery is seen by many to be the quintessential Bond actor). I checked out a few lists ranking the Bond series, and Goldfinger was always near the top, and usually #1. It has the highest percentage on Rotten Tomatoes of any Bond film. I saw it once, I think in high school. I didn't remember a whole lot about it, but I did remember having a good time watching it
• But good God, I forgot how utterly, entirely ridiculous the whole thing is
• It's certainly a romp. The action is solid, the villains are menacing in a charismatic way, and Connery is cheer-worthy (as long as you can get past the casual misogyny - some moments really didn't age well)
• But man, be prepared to groan a few times. And honestly, I see this as a feature, not a bug. It's the style of these movies. You can't have James Bond kill someone without lightening the mood with a terrible, borderline non-sequitur pun. For example, bad guy gets electrocuted; when asked what happened to him, Bond says, "He blew a fuse." Or, a different bad guy gets electrocuted. Purely for his own amusement, Bond says, "Shocking. Positively shocking." As they say, one good electrocution joke deserves another
• The post-death quip was one of many Bond-isms parodied in Austin Powers. And, while I have no statistics to back this up, I think there's a fair chance that there are more people at this point who have seen the Austin Powers movies than have seen Goldfinger. The funny thing about parodying Bond, however, is that some of the gags that appear in Austin Powers are barely more ridiculous than what they're directly imitating. Cases in point: the character Alotta Fagina? Based on Pussy Galore from this movie. The character Random Task, who is lethal when throwing a shoe? Based on Oddjob, who is lethal when throwing a metal-rimmed bowler hat. All of these things are absolutely asinine! There's no upper ground between the parody and that which is being parodied!
• Goldfinger is a great villain, and I like that he's introduced cheating at cards. It's a clever way of establishing his character, to show that this immensely wealthy man just likes to win and he doesn't care how he does it. Similarly, while it's not the most action-packed stretch of the movie, there's something that I find really entertaining about the golf game between Bond and Goldfinger
• While the movie ended up being quite a lot sillier than I remembered, there's still so much that works here. The theme song is a banger, the gadgets are nifty, the action set pieces and fights are fun, and you've got all the iconic lines ("A martini. Shaken, not stirred"). Speaking of which, I mixed myself a martini to watch this movie, and I plan on doing it for the other Bond films coming up, too. And boy, that is a stiff drink! But James Bond wouldn't have it any other way

Up next: Given my age (I was born in '86), it might be surprising that I haven't seen Pierce Brosnan's first go as Bond, which came out in '95. But as positively shocking as it is, it's true. I certainly played the video game a lot, but up next will be my first time watching GoldenEye

#72-B: APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

 

THRILL SCALE 1-10

9

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yes, once, a long time ago

BEST SEQUENCE

The "Ride of the Valkyries" helicopter attack

BEST LINE

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning"

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

98%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Francis Ford Coppola's haunting, hallucinatory Vietnam War epic is cinema at its most audacious and visionary."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"A U.S. Army officer serving in Vietnam is tasked with assassinating a renegade Special Forces Colonel who sees himself as a god."

THOUGHTS

• It surprises me, very much, that Apocalypse Now isn't already on the American Film Institute's list of thrilling movies, and that I had to add it as a supplementary film. It's included in the AFI's list of best movies ever, at #28. Nothing to sneeze at, so clearly the AFI does hold it in high regard. Considering the 100 Thrills list includes several other movies about the Vietnam War, I wonder why they couldn't find room for Apocalypse Now as well. I've said my piece about my own personal moral dilemma of viewing war movies as action-packed thrillers, considering the real human lives which were lost, but if one considers The Deer Hunter, Platoon and Full Metal Jacket to be effectively gripping and heart pounding, I think Apocalypse Now is at least as good as those movies, and maybe even superior to all of them
• The movie is chock-full of stunning visuals, definitely deserving its Academy Award for cinematography (it was nominated for eight Oscars, total). The "Ride of the Valkyries" scene is visually striking and probably the most iconic sequence in the movie, but the shot of Martin Sheen rising out of the muddy water, face covered in camouflage paint, is equally memorable. Going into this viewing, my mind kind of boiled Apocalypse Now down to those two very well-known moments, but there really is a whole lot more to this movie as well
• Martin Sheen is great in this, his wide-eyed stare conveying so much. You seldom see him blink. He also has a very intense way of smoking, which he does constantly throughout the whole movie. His voiceover narration is also pretty crucial to the feel of the film
• I liked the way Colonel Kurtz was built up to be an almost mythological figure throughout the movie, and the way Martin Sheen's Captain Willard developed a fascination, if not outright admiration, for him. Famously, when Marlon Brando showed up to play Kurtz, he was about 88 pounds heavier than Coppola expected so Brando was heavily shadowed for his scenes. Ultimately, though, this just added even more to his mystique
• Dennis Hopper and Robert Duvall also make the most of their relatively short screen times, putting in some very memorable performances, especially Duvall as Colonel Kilgore. Kilgore is the source of the quote up above, his character instigates the helicopter attack, and Duvall got the only acting Oscar nomination for the movie, with only 11 minutes of screen time
• Finally, much like Blade Runner, Apocalypse Now is available in several different director's cuts. Apocalypse Now Redux came out in 2001, and Apocalypse Now Final Cut in 2019. I decided to watch the original theatrical cut, though, primarily because the online consensus seemed to be that the first cut was the best, and the later versions just extended the movie without really improving it. But if anyone out there feels strongly about one of the later cuts being superior, feel free to share

Up next: It's one of the longest-running movie franchises of all time, with the first movie coming out in 1962 and the most recent one out last year, in 2021. And yet, Goldfinger, the third movie of the James Bond franchise, is the only one on the AFI's list (perhaps understandably, since there's a strong consensus that it's also the best). So up next, at #71, is Goldfinger. But after that, let's spend a little more time with 007. I declare this the December of James Bond, with GoldenEye coming next (haven't seen), then Casino Royale (have seen) and finally Skyfall (haven't seen)