READERS' CHOICE #24: MINORITY REPORT (2002)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

7.5

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yes, but not since shortly after it was released

BEST SEQUENCE

Eyeball transplant and the ensuing invasion of the Spyder robots

BEST LINE

Just before the eye transplant surgery

John: I'd like to keep the old ones.

Dr. Solomon: Why?

John: Because my mother gave them to me.

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

89%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Thought-provoking and visceral, Steven Spielberg successfully combines high concept ideas and high octane action in this fast and febrile sci-fi thriller."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"John works with the PreCrime police which stop crimes before they take place, with the help of three 'PreCogs' who can foresee crimes. Events ensue when John finds himself framed for a future murder."

DIRECTOR

Steven Spielberg

MAIN CAST

Tom Cruise, Max von Sydow, Colin Farrell, Samantha Morton

THOUGHTS

• Minority Report is a really fun movie with a lot of intriguing ideas. I don't just mean the things it has to say about destiny and crime prevention, though, I also mean all the sci-fi/action concepts we get treated to. Things like the shockwave shotgun, the cops' Sick Sticks, and the Spyder robots, they all get a scene or two to really stand out, and then the movie shuttles us along to the next exciting set piece. This isn't even mentioning the ideas that get even more screentime and room to breathe, like the huge touchscreens, or this future society's reliance on retinal scanning
• And yes, despite Minority Report coming out 23 years ago, this is still a future society - the movie is set in 2054. It's always fun to look at near-future, still recognizable societies in movies, to try to guess where the predictions might still get it right, and where we can have our doubts. Things like self-driving cars and personalized ads - they're already here, although maybe not to the extent we see in the movie. On the other hand, I don't expect to see physical media of really any sort still existing in 29 years, much less any Radio Shack stores or the TV show COPS
• The Precrime concept is completely engrossing, and the opening sequence is a great, exciting way to introduce us to how it works. I also got some chills during the big reveal at the end
• Lastly, it may surprise you to learn that this is the last we'll see of Tom Cruise in these reviews. Early in his career he was never exclusively an action movie star, but that has definitely changed more recently, especially with the Mission: Impossible franchise, a series for which I have a lot of affection (although, I must admit, I still haven't seen all of them. The last one I saw was Rogue Nation). Edge of Tomorrow was a little earlier on the Readers' Choice list, but I am honestly surprised that the American Film Institute didn't include any Tom Cruise movies. As a reminder, the AFI list was revealed in 2001, so 1986's Top Gun and 1996's Mission: Impossible were both eligible, and I think Mission: Impossible's vault heist still holds up as a perfect nail-biting action sequence. I'm not planning on it anytime soon, but maybe one day I'll do a Mission: Impossible series run-through

Up next: It's a big one! The Dark Knight from 2008

READERS' CHOICE #25: EVIL DEAD II (1987)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

6

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yes, many times, although I'm not totally sure when the first time would have been. Probably in university, but maybe in high school

BEST SEQUENCE

Ash vs. his own hand, especially when it's still attached to his arm. Honourable mention to the laughing scene, as well as the sequence when we see what Ash decides to replace his hand with

BEST LINE

"Groovy"

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

88%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Less a continuation than an outright reimagining, Sam Raimi transforms his horror tale into a comedy of terrors -- and arguably even improves on the original formula."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"Ash Williams, the lone survivor of an earlier onslaught of flesh-possessing spirits, holes up in a cabin with a group of strangers while the demons continue their attack."
DIRECTOR
Sam Raimi

MAIN CAST

Bruce Campbell, Sarah Berry, Dan Hicks, Kassie Wesley

THOUGHTS

• We're here to rate movies based on how thrilling and scary they are, but I do want it known how much I love this movie. I've seen it many times, and I still watch it with a big smile on my face for the whole duration
• The action is hilariously slapsticky, the stop motion is creative and fun to watch, and the gore is ridiculously over-the-top, but is any of it all that scary? Nah, not really. To be fair to Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell, though, a lot of the choices they made as director and actor make it clear that scaring us wasn't their only goal. Even the jump scares are more about comic timing than anything else
• Bruce Campbell is absolutely delightful in this, and it should be emphasized that his performance is largely a one-man show for the first 35 minutes. He's charismatic. He's remarkably committed, especially when it comes to the physical stuff, throwing himself all over that cabin and beating himself up with his own hand. And, against all odds and despite the movie's tongue-in-cheek tone, I find him pretty convincing as a guy who's being driven insane. Sometimes it's surprising to think about how such a talented, watchable actor hasn't had a more mainstream career, but then again, the Evil Dead franchise has a pretty unique vibe that maybe wouldn't carry over to other styles of movie
• Side note, when did Ashley fall out of fashion as a name for boys? I've never met a male Ashley (but I have crossed paths with a few female ones)
• Side side note, I love the movie poster, and I have strong memories of seeing it on the VHS cover at Blockbuster back in the day, before I was even brave enough to watch scary movies
• So if Evil Dead II may not be the scariest movie I've ever seen, I do think it's perhaps the quintessential Evil Dead experience. That's the cool thing about this franchise, though. You have five different movies that are all fairly distinct from each other, so you really do get a different viewing experience with each one. And having said that, with no further ado...

MINI REVIEW: THE EVIL DEAD (1981)

• Thrill Score: 8.5/10
• That's right, baby, we're doing the whole franchise!
• This movie was extremely controversial when it was released. It received an X rating in the US, and it was outright banned in several countries, including the UK. It has since been re-rated NC-17 for "substantial horror violence and gore". Evil Dead II was originally released unrated, by the way
• And I think all this handwringing is pretty silly, to be honest. The special effects are so charmingly janky, and the blood and gore are so ridiculously excessive, that I find it hard to understand how anyone could be legitimately disturbed by these movies (which is not to ignore a specific scene involving trees and vines that is legitimately disturbing, but for other reasons)
• However, despite the janky excessiveness of it all, The Evil Dead does have a more serious tone and I do find it more effective as a horror movie, especially thanks to the super creepy makeup effects, some of the more convincing shots of violence (e.g. pencil in the ankle), and some pretty great performances (although the guy who plays Scotty is awful)
• Again, Bruce Campbell is excellent in this, although this Ash does have a bit less personality, and a lot less bravado and cockiness than in the later movies. I could seriously watch Campbell get thrown around a room all day. His girlfriend, Linda, is also the creepiest Deadite by far
• The Evil Dead movies occupy kind of a unique space in horror, combining aspects of slasher and zombie movies, especially the parts of a zombie movie when people start getting infected but haven't turned yet, and when you can't tell exactly who will go evil or when
• Finally, The Evil Dead got a big boost from a guy who's been mentioned numerous times in my reviews. Stephen King saw an early screening and he loved it. He described it as the "most ferociously original film of the year," and his support ultimately helped get the movie distributed

MINI REVIEW: ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992)

• Thrill score: 4/10
• Well, I must admit, I just don't like this movie very much. I admire Sam Raimi for taking a chance and trying something different, but when you take a chance like that you risk losing the qualities that made people like the previous movies in the first place
• The special effects and action scenes can be fun in a whimsical sort of way, but they're in service of a movie that I just don't find all that entertaining. And, again, I'm sure it was a deliberate choice, but there's really nothing scary about this movie at all
• Campbell is still very watchable, and again a lot of the movie is just him owning the screen by himself (and sometimes alongside miniature/evil versions of himself, probably my favourite scenes). It's also more clear than ever how much Ash's personality changes from movie to movie, in this one he's hilariously overconfident and kind of an endearing asshole
• The script has some great lines, it's a very quotable movie. Some of my favourites:
• "This...is my BOOMSTICK" 
• "Hail to the king, baby" 
• "Well, hello Mr. Fancypants. I got news for you, pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now, Jack and shit. And Jack left town."
• Finally, Army of Darkness directly references another movie that I reviewed and didn't like very much. The magic words that Ash needs to remember, "Klaatu barada nikto," are taken directly from The Day the Earth Stood Still

MINI REVIEW: EVIL DEAD (2013)

• Thrill score: 8.5/10
• I only saw this once, in the theatre when it came out, and I remembered liking it quite a lot. Fortunately, it had been long enough that it was basically a whole new viewing experience, and again I liked it a lot!
• It's more in the style of the first The Evil Dead, there's very little humour to be found, but given the 32-year gap between movies the special effects are greatly improved and the gore and violence are unflinchingly realistic. The boxcutter scene is particularly memorable, and in fact it's one of the few parts that I still remembered from my first time seeing it
• As a good reboot should, this movie stands pretty well on its own, you don't need to have seen the previous trilogy to enjoy it. I did appreciate the nods to The Evil Dead and Evil Dead II, though, like the hand turning on its owner, said hand getting amputated (by an electric knife this time), and the return of the all-important chainsaw during the climax

MINI REVIEW: EVIL DEAD RISE (2023)

• Thrill score: 9.5/10
• Yep, in my opinion, the most recent Evil Dead movie is the scariest. An urban apartment building might be the exact opposite of a cabin in the woods, but this still feels very much like an Evil Dead movie, departures and all. This is also probably the coolest looking version of the Necronomicon
• The scares are scary, the violence is violent, and the gore is gory. Lots of great foreshadowing, too. You've heard of Chekhov's Gun, but how about Chekhov's Tattoo Gun? And let's not forget Chekhov's Scissors and, especially, Chekhov's Wood Chipper
• Finally, an aspect of Evil Dead Rise that I find particularly effective is the close family relationship between Deadite and victim. This plays a part in some of the other movies, especially Evil Dead 2013, but Rise turns the screws even tighter, with a mother-turned-monster locked out of an apartment and trying to attack her kids and her sister within. This added familial layer is performed very effectively, and definitely gave me some full-body shivers

And that's it, gang! All the Evil Dead movies in one post. Before we go, I do want to mention Evil Dead The Musical, a hilarious stage version of Evil Dead that I've seen twice (if you haven't heard of it, you need to know that the audience has a splatter zone), and Ash vs Evil Dead, a TV series that I haven't seen at all, but hope to someday. It was a lot of fun rewatching these movies, and I might even say it was

Up next: The only Spielberg movie on the Readers' Choice list, 2002's Minority Report