READERS' CHOICE #43: ONG-BAK: THE THAI WARRIOR (2003)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

7

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Nope, first time

BEST SEQUENCE

Our hero, Ting, gets chased through Bangkok alleys by a gang of hoodlums, and the ways in which he evades capture just get more and more impressive

BEST LINE

"Now hand over Ong-Bak! Motherfucker!"

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

85%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"While Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior may be no great shakes as a movie, critics are hailing the emergence of a new star in Tony Jaa, whose athletic performance is drawing comparisons with Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Jet Li"

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"When the head of a statue sacred to a village is stolen, a young martial artist goes to the big city and finds himself taking on the underworld to retrieve it."

THOUGHTS

• There's a purity of focus to this movie that I can appreciate, even while it means that it doesn't entirely resonate with me as a movie-watching experience. The plot is entirely inconsequential - a good fighter must retrieve something that is important to him, and he does so by fighting. The movie exists to string together scenes of Tony Jaa being remarkably skilled and athletic, and in this regard, it succeeds. He's pretty incredible to watch, especially knowing it's all really him
• But this movie is not going to stick with me, and I don't believe I'll ever get the urge to watch it again all the way through. I've seen the sights. I've appreciated the stunts. If I ever want to appreciate the stunts again, I'll probably just find some clips on Youtube (and to be fair, that wasn't actually an option when this movie was released in 2003)
• And with that said, basically this review is going to devolve into a list of cool things that happened! Which is also an accurate summary of the movie
• So, firstly, my pick for best sequence consists of our hero, Ting, and the movie's comic relief character, George, being chased by a gang of toughs. Ting fully hurdles over people, tables, sharp gardening implements, and frigging cars. Ting also jumps through a small circle of barbed wire and cartwheels between two narrow panes of glass, and I realize that me typing this out probably isn't doing much for you, so just go watch it. George, on the other hand, splits his pants. George's part of this chase scene, however, does contain my other favourite line of the movie, and the only line that made me laugh out loud. George gets cornered by the toughs who are pursuing him, he backs up against a butcher's cart, and grabs a big old knife. The toughs look defeated; George has won! Suddenly an elderly vendor walks by, declaring, "Knives for sale! Knives for sale!" Cut to George now being pursued by knife-wielding toughs
• I liked the sequence in which Ting has to fight three different guys in quick succession in an underground fighting club. Each fight is pretty cool, and I really liked the third fighter's strategy of just breaking a bunch of shit on Ting: a bottle; a chair; a table; a vase; a neon sign; and finally, yes, a refrigerator. I'm not joking
• There was a big tuk-tuk chase scene. There were some cool stunts, but let's be honest, The Fast and the Furious it wasn't
• Ting kicks a guy while his legs are on fire (Ting's legs, not the guy's)
• Some pretty gnarly broken limbs in the climactic fight scene, and the saw attack is pretty visceral
• And that's Ong-Bak! Good night, everybody!

Up next: With absolute certainty, I can say that this will be Adam Sandler's only appearance on this list. It's Little Nicky! (Just kidding, it's Uncut Gems; I've seen it before and it's great!)