#71-B: GOLDENEYE (1995)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

7

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Never, unless you count playing through the N64 game

BEST SEQUENCE

Probably the tank chase, but the opening sequence and the climactic showdown are also pretty awesome

BEST LINE

M: "You don't like me, Bond. You don't like my methods. You think I'm an accountant, a bean counter more interested in my numbers than your instincts."

Bond: "The thought had occurred to me."

M: "Good, because I think you're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War, whose boyish charms, though wasted on me, obviously appealed to that young woman I sent out to evaluate you."

Bond: "Point taken."

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

80%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"The first and best Pierce Brosnan Bond film, GoldenEye brings the series into a more modern context, and the result is a 007 entry that's high-tech, action-packed, and urbane."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"Years after a friend and fellow 00 agent is killed on a joint mission, a Russian crime syndicate steals a secret space-based weapons program known as "GoldenEye" and James Bond has to stop them from using it."

THOUGHTS

• It's interesting how strongly the GoldenEye video game sticks out in my memory, considering I never even owned a Nintendo 64 myself. It was just so iconic that even just from playing it at friends' houses, I kept thinking about it while watching the movie for the first time. I'd recognize set pieces and action sequences, and the most recognizable aspect was probably the scenery
• That opening set piece is pretty fantastic, from the bungee jump that kicks off the movie to the (admittedly laugh-inducing) motorcycle jump off a cliff to catch up to a plummeting plane in midair. As silly as it all is, though, it's quite convincingly shot
• Which leads into the very trippy opening credits. Considering the cultural footprint that so many Bond themes have had over the years, it's worth mentioning that I've never heard the GoldenEye theme before in my life, and it's kind of a snooze. Noteworthy considering the pedigree - performed by Tina Turner, and written by Bono and the Edge. Also noteworthy about the opening credits, Sean Bean is billed right after Pierce Brosnan, so it was clearly pretty early in Bean's career if the name recognition wouldn't spoil the mid-movie twist
• And speaking of Brosnan - he's handsome, he's dapper, he's capable, but he's pretty bland. The movie around him is entertaining enough, but he's kind of just there. Henceforth I shall call him the Bland Bond (as opposed to Daniel Craig, who is the Blond Bond)
• I really liked Judi Dench in her brief screen time as M, and I look forward to her reappearing in the Daniel Craig movies. I also appreciated this movie's reckoning with the Bonds of the past, as exemplified by the quote up above
• Alan Cumming was really grating as Boris. I like him as an actor, but that character can take a hike. Also, it was an incredibly mid-'90s move to give him a character trait of fiddling with a pen while frantically typing one-handed on a keyboard trying to crack a computer code. Of course this computer whiz doesn't need two hands to type; he's just that good!
• This movie might be one of the most egregious examples of needing to suspend one's disbelief when foreign characters speak strongly-accented English instead of the language that they would most logically actually be speaking. There is absolutely no reason why a bunch of Russian characters, at a Russian control centre, would be speaking and typing in English to each other. Of course I understand the practical reasons why the filmmakers would go this route but once I noticed it happening I found it hard to ignore
• And speaking of things that are hard to ignore, boy oh boy, the CGI used in the outer space footage. Gravity, this is not
• It may seem like I'm ripping this apart, but I did actually have a good time with this movie. There's a lot of silliness, but the action is really solid. Big explosions, cool gun fights, a charismatic villain, and a great final fight scene
• But I shall leave you with the worst post-death quip of the film. After the secondary big bad dies from being crushed into a tree as a result of being tethered to a crashing helicopter, Bond says "She always did enjoy a good squeeze." Bond, you nitwit, that's not an expression! It doesn't count as a clever reference if it's a sentence that no one in the world has ever said before you!

Up next: It's the introduction of the aforementioned Blond Bond. Daniel Craig in Casino Royale