#59: PLANET OF THE APES (1968)

THRILL SCALE 1-10

2.5

HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Yes, once, a long time ago. I think in high school

BEST SEQUENCE

Oh, probably the final scene, I suppose

BEST LINE

"Take yer stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE

86%

ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS

"Planet of the Apes raises thought-provoking questions about our culture without letting social commentary get in the way of the drama and action."

IMDB SYNOPSIS

"An astronaut crew crash-lands on a planet where highly intelligent non-human ape species are dominant and humans are enslaved."

DIRECTOR

Franklin J. Schaffner

MAIN CAST

Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans

THOUGHTS

• Well, it's another seminal and important work of science fiction, and I'm sure it has many, many fans out there, but I can't help it, I just think it's incredibly boring. Perhaps this is another case of a movie that works best upon first viewing, but I don't remember liking it that much the first time I saw it either; at the very least, I didn't like it enough to justify a rewatch within the last 20 years or so
• The apes, of course, are the main attraction, but in some ways I preferred the earlier parts of the movie, when the astronauts were exploring this "unfamiliar" (wink, wink) planet. In fact, we don't even see an ape until minute 32. At the time, the ape makeup effects were groundbreaking, even winning an honorary Oscar (makeup wasn't its own category back then). In some ways the prosthetics were quite well done - the eyes and brows, especially, are very expressive. The mouths and lips, though, not so much. Some unconvincing moments, especially when the apes are talking. And let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've seen two actors in ape prosthetics kiss by just smushing their rubber, immobile lips into each other
• Some stunning scenery, filmed in northern Arizona, near the Grand Canyon. It does indeed look very otherworldly
• Great music, by a composer I've complimented already, Jerry Goldsmith - he also scored Poltergeist and The Omen, and this isn't even the last time he'll be mentioned. I never knew I had such an appreciation for Goldsmith's work, and I'm impressed how all of his scores are distinct and perfectly suited for their movies. His music for Planet of the Apes is spookily avant-garde and alien-like, the perfect complement to what's onscreen
• Charlton Heston is overacting like his life depends on it, but he does give us some very memorable line readings. Aside from the one mentioned above, you've got other classics like "It's a mad house! A MAD HOUSE!" and "You cut up his brain, you bloody baboon!" and, of course, "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
• Unbeknownst to me, this movie also gave us one of my favourite reaction gifs, Charlton Heston laughing uproariously. It's even better with the sound:

• Incidentally, that clip is also a good example of some kind of odd, or maybe just ham-fisted, directorial choices that can be seen throughout the movie - there are a lot of those really dramatic, fairly unnecessary, sudden zooms
• Finally, it's appropriate that Planet of the Apes happened to come after all of the M. Night Shyamalan movies, because it also contains a pretty famous twist ending. Spoiler alert, and in the words of The Simpsons (which probably already spoiled this for most of you, anyway): "Oh my God, I was wrong! It was Earth all along!" It's a serviceable twist ending, but man, you need to be relying on some real sci-fi movie logic for it to make any sense as a twist, especially if we're talking about the fact that it's meant to come as a complete surprise to Charlton Heston's astronaut main character. The fact that Heston lands on what he believes to be an alien planet, which is populated not only by humans, and not only by horses, and not only by apes, but also apes who speak English, and yet he doesn't consider the possibility that this planet actually being Earth is the only logical explanation for all of this, that takes some real mental gymnastics (although the idea that after 2000 years away from Earth the apes would be speaking the exact same style of English as Heston, that they'd even be able to understand each other at all, that's a whole 'nother can of worms)

Up next: Planet of the Apes was adapted from a story by French author Pierre Boulle, best known for two novels that were turned into movies, and funnily enough the other adaptation is up next on the list (also funnily enough, they're very different genres). It's the 1957 epic war film The Bridge on the River Kwai