Hi everyone, please enjoy this guest review by Hank! - Mark
THRILL SCALE 1-10
9
HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?
Yessiree, many times dating back to ye olde VHS days in the 90’s.
BEST SEQUENCE
Luke and Vader duel. Honestly the whole battle for Hoth is also such an amazing opening to a film, but the Luke Vader duel edges it out. While it's pretty tame choreo compared to modern films, it was a massive jump from the first film's weenie lightsaber battles. Vader's commentary throughout the fight is excellent. "Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Release your anger... Only your hatred can destroy me." "The Force is with you, young Skywalker. But you are not a Jedi yet." I suppose those are honourable mentions for the next category.
BEST LINE(S)
5. “This deal's getting worse all the time.” - Lando Calrissian
I quote this all the time.
I quote this all the time.
4. (see best sequence above) “Impressive… Jedi yet.” - Darth Vader
3. “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” - Yoda
Inspirational. Better than Nike.
2. “I am your father.” - Darth Vader
Iconic. The lead up to it, the aftermath of it. All of it. If you lived under a rock and didn’t know this was coming it is such a fantastic reveal and makes the entire trilogy better for it.
“Your Tauntaun'll freeze before you reach the first marker.” - Deck Officer
1. “Then I'll see you in hell!” - Han Solo
I just laugh every time I hear it as It always catches me off guard. The delivery is *chefs kiss*. It might not be your favourite… But It’s my favourite, and If you’ve got a problem with that, then I guess I’ll…. SEE YOU IN HELL! MUAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH!
Side note: Mark claimed "But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!" was his least favourite line in A New Hope and I comically think it is one of my favourites. It really helps cement the growth of Luke from being a whiny little brat to being the warrior that saves the Galaxy by the end of the trilogy. The whiny delivery cracks me up. LUL.
WORST LINE
Hard to pin one down. There are some cheesily acted extras lines here and there, but I never really mind those. Probably a line by See-Threepio… He is very whiny and complains a lot. Let's use this one:
“I really don't see how that is going to help. Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances. The Empire may be gracious enough…” *Leia reaches over and shuts off Threepio, mid-sentence.
Which is actually great 'cause it ends with exactly what we all wanted.
Though in truth the worst line in the movie isn’t a line. It’s just a weird scene that really stops the momentum and doesn’t add anything.
INT. DAGOBAH - TREE CAVE 166
Luke moves into the almost total darkness of the wet and slimy cave. The youth can barely make out the edge of the passage. Holding his lit saber before him, he sees a lizard crawling up the side of the cave and a snake wrapped around the branches of a tree. Luke draws a deep breath, then pushes deeper into the cave. The space widens around him, but he feels that rather than sees it. His sword casts the only light as he peers into the darkness. It is very quiet here.
Then, a loud HISS! Darth Vader appears across the blackness, illuminated by his own just-ignited laser sword. Immediately, he charges Luke, saber held high. He is upon the youth in seconds, but Luke sidesteps perfectly and slashes at Vader with his sword. Vader is decapitated. His helmet-encased head flies from his shoulders as his body disappears into the darkness. The metallic banging of the helmet fills the cave as Vader's head spins and bounces, smashes on the floor, and finally stops. For an instant it rests on the floor, then it cracks vertically. The black helmet and breath mask fall away to reveal... Luke's head.
Across the space, the standing Luke gasps at the sight, wide-eyed in terror. The decapitated head fades away, as in a vision.
What does this add? Nothing. It is the sole reason this movie got a 9/10 instead of a 10/10 on the Thrill Scale.
Across the space, the standing Luke gasps at the sight, wide-eyed in terror. The decapitated head fades away, as in a vision.
What does this add? Nothing. It is the sole reason this movie got a 9/10 instead of a 10/10 on the Thrill Scale.
ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE
93%
ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITICS CONSENSUS
"Dark, sinister, but ultimately even more involving than A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back defies viewer expectations and takes the series to heightened emotional levels."
IMDB SYNOPSIS
"After the Empire overpowers the Rebel Alliance, Luke Skywalker begins training with Jedi Master Yoda, while Darth Vader and bounty hunter Boba Fett pursue his friends across the galaxy."
DIRECTOR
Irvin Kershner
MAIN CAST
Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Peter Mayhew, Anthony Daniels, David Prowse, Frank Oz, Kenny Baker
Today I learned: James Earl Jones declined to have his name appear on the credits of both Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) and Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980), claiming that he felt his contribution wasn't significant enough to warrant a credit and didn’t want to take away from Prowse’s work as a physical actor in the role.
THOUGHTS
- Star Wars. Yeh! Rock on! Like Mark, I’ve seen all but the most recent. I think the IP is fantastic, I love the world, I love the lore, and I think it is a wonderful blend of Space Opera, Spaghetti Western and Samurai films. However, I also think there are only 3 truly great Star Wars films. Many of them are good, most of them are fine, and a few of them are bad. This film is the cream of the crop. The big dawg. Top of the list bangarang film. The number one Star Wars movie ever made, and I’d think you were a liar and a fool if you disagreed with me. If you think Rogue One or Episode IV are better… I’ll allow it… You’re wrong… But I’ll allow it. They are the other two great among greats. The rest is fine. It’s good, it’s fun. And yes I think Episode VI is in the lesser category of good but not great. I’m on a ramble so let's move on.
- What a fantastic iconic score this movie has. I know a lot of it is building off Episode IV but I think they really use it well in this with little themes and bits all throughout and really build from what they had to make an epic feast for the ears.
- The cast is great, Hamill, Fisher and Ford are really starting to come into their own in this one. We’re seeing more rebel soldiers and not just kids. With more nuance and emotion (and better direction, sorry Lucas), the whole cast comes together, not to mention the bonus treat of Billy Dee Wiliams at the end.
- The pacing of this film is outstanding, as with most second films in trilogies it has the benefit of just being able to jump into the action, everyone knows everyone and we are here to rock and/or roll right out the gate. From Hoth to Dagobah to Space Asteroid to Cloud City it just moves, and it moves well. Barring that one scene listed above (Luke face in Vader helmet).
- Hoth is such a perfect opening. Just a fantastic way to open a movie. It has everything: espionage drone, a smooch, a lovers spat, a giant monster getting its arm bloodily removed, a daring rescue, giant robot camels, a full on war, a crazy and creative way to kill the giant robot camels that oft goes wrong, things oft going wrong, space ships blasting off to space, giant boob nipple cannons shooting into space. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?
- Yoda is such a great little weird guy. Love him giving Luke the business for being a whiny boy, but he teaches Luke a lot, and Luke's arms on Dagobah, hot damn, i do believe I have the vapours.
- Cloud City. Poor Lando, he just wanted a deal and he prayed it wouldn’t be altered further, but gosh darn it, they altered it further. Reminiscent of the Death Star escape from the first movie, we’ve got badass Leia getting the heck outta dodge again. This time Luke is the Jedi meeting with Vader and gives a much better showing than old Ben. Just a great finale that keeps the action up to the very end, and tantalizing some juicy storylines to be finished in Episode VI.
- It’s fun to note, when this movie released in theatres May 6, 1980, due to the movie's darker tone and wild finale plot twist it was met with mixed reviews and reception. Star Wars fans have always hated the newest Star War. Just as I hated the prequels so did the next gen hate the threequels, which I’m sure will one day be beloved when the next worst trilogy releases.
- That’s it. I could probably ramble on for much longer, but I shan’t. Instead I will leave you with my definitive ranking of the franchise. I’d be interested if all of Mark’s guest writers plop this into their reviews at the end… But they don’t have to… I guess…
HANK'S STAR WARS MOVIE RANKINGS
- N/A
- The Mandalorian and Grogu
- Not Great Star Wars
- 11 Attack of the Clones
- 10 Revenge of the Sith
- It’s fun Star Wars
- 9 The Phantom Menace
- 8 Solo
- 7 The Rise of Skywalker
- 6 The Last Jedi
- Pretty good Star Wars
- 5 The Force Awakens
- 4 Return of the Jedi
- Amazing Star Wars
- 3 Rogue One
- 2 A New Hope
- 1 Empire Strikes Back
Up Next: Well hey there, it's me, Mark, again! Thanks for the review, Hank! Coming up next we'll have another guest reviewer, John, talking about Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
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